Wealth and Parenting: A Delicate Balance

December 2025

Dominic M. Costantini, MBA
Partner, Portfolio Manager, Private Wealth

 

Many parents with significant wealth wrestle with how to enjoy their lifestyle without undermining their children’s motivation, values or sense of reality. Families approach this challenge in different ways.

This article examines four areas where wealth intersects with parenting: the use of time and delegation, the importance of example, the framing of travel, and the role of work and humility. It concludes with several practices families often find helpful.

TIME AND OPTIONS: THE HIDDEN DIMENSION OF WEALTH

Wealth provides additional time and options. By delegating tasks such as lawn care, snow removal or errands, families can create space for what matters most: sharing meals, nurturing passions or simply being present.

The question, however, is how far delegation should go: a chef, a chauffeur, a valet? Outsourcing certain chores can be practical, but when parents are consistently surrounded by staff and children rarely see them engage in hands-on tasks, it can unintentionally convey that some work is “beneath us” or that effort is optional.

Many wealthy families address this by ensuring children still have real responsibilities. Even if groceries are delivered, children may be expected to cook a simple meal. Even with housekeepers, they may still tidy their own rooms, make their beds or empty the dishwasher.

The real luxury is not the avoidance of tasks, but the ability to choose where time and energy are spent. Framed this way, wealth can empower children with both freedom and responsibility—to build, to learn and to contribute.

LEADING BY EXAMPLE

Children observe behaviour far more closely than they heed instructions. If they never see parents wash dishes or make a sandwich, a “do as I say, not as I do” dynamic can emerge. For this reason, some parents intentionally perform everyday tasks, not out of necessity, but to model humility and grounded behaviour.

A vivid example appeared when a billionaire host personally managed the barbecue and later helped with the dishes. The signal was clear: true dignity lies in staying grounded, regardless of financial means.

TRAVEL: A PRIVILEGE TO FRAME

Travel is another area where intentional framing matters. Lavish trips can quickly become normalized, yet with the right approach, they can also become meaningful learning experiences.

Some families shape each trip with a clear purpose, emphasizing discovery as well as comfort. Others incorporate volunteerism, learning opportunities or cultural exposure. Many balance international trips with more modest road journeys, visiting London or Paris one year, and Ottawa or Washington the next. The aim is to help children see travel as both a privilege and an opportunity for growth, rather than a default or an indulgence.

WEALTH AS CIRCUMSTANCE, NOT IDENTITY

How parents use time, frame travel and demonstrate humility sends a powerful message: wealth is a circumstance, not an identity. It may expand options, but it does not determine worth. Families often emphasize that money cannot replace essential qualities.

• Character: qualities such as integrity, responsibility and values. Wealth may offer comfort, but trust and credibility arise from behaviour and choices.
• Resilience: the capacity to adapt and recover from setbacks. Resources can soften difficulties, but life inevitably presents challenges in careers, relationships and health.
• Humility: remaining grounded and respectful. Wealth can breed entitlement, and humility helps counter that tendency.

Work also plays an important role, even when financial necessity is absent. Many families encourage summer jobs, internships or volunteer commitments, not for income, but for the structure, accountability and self-confidence they build.

Boundaries are equally important. While parents naturally want to say “yes,” children also need to hear “no” and experience delayed gratification, which contributes to healthy development.

PRACTICAL WAYS FAMILIES STAY GROUNDED

The following practices have proven effective for many families:

1. Be transparent in the right measure. Explain why help is employed, not because tasks are beneath anyone, but because time is valuable.
2. Maintain high standards at home. Even with staff support, children are expected to contribute, and parents model this behaviour as well.
3. Emphasize respect and gratitude. Show appreciation for staff and teach children that these roles are dignified and essential.
4. Provide real-world exposure. Community work, modest travel or uncurated experiences offer perspective beyond privilege.
5. Narrate the invisible effort. Share stories of beginnings, risks and sacrifices so children understand that comfort is earned, not guaranteed.

Ultimately, raising well-grounded children in a wealthy environment is less about strict rules and more about intention, balance and values. The privilege of wealth is best used to make thoughtful choices about how time and energy are spent, and to encourage the next generation to do the same, with gratitude, humility and responsibility.

 

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