Wealth and Parenting: A Delicate Balance

December 2025

Dominic M. Costantini, MBA
Partner, Portfolio Manager, Private Wealth

 

Many parents with significant wealth wrestle with how to enjoy their lifestyle without undermining their children’s motivation, values or sense of reality. Over the years, I have seen families approach this challenge in different ways.

In this article, I will look at four areas where wealth intersects with parenting: how we use time and delegation, the importance of example, the framing of travel, and the role of work and humility. I will close with some practices that families have found useful.

TIME AND OPTIONS: THE HIDDEN DIMENSION OF WEALTH

Wealth provides the gift of time and options. By delegating tasks, like lawn care, snow removal, or errands, families create space for what matters most: sharing meals, nurturing passions, or simply being present.

But how far should this go, a chef, a chauffeur, a valet? Outsourcing certain chores makes sense. But when parents are always surrounded by staff and children never see them do anything hands-on, it risks sending the message that some jobs are “beneath us” and that work is optional.

What I have seen work in some wealthy families is ensuring children still have real responsibilities. Even if groceries are delivered, they may be asked to cook a simple meal. Even with housekeepers, they have to tidy their own rooms, make their beds or empty the dishwasher.

The real luxury is not about avoiding tasks, but about choosing where to spend time and energy. Framed this way, wealth can empower children with both freedom and responsibility: to build, to learn and to contribute.

LEADING BY EXAMPLE

Children notice what we do far more than what we say. If they never see parents wash dishes or make a sandwich, the message can quickly become: “do as I say, not as I do.” This is why some parents deliberately choose to perform everyday tasks, not because they need to, but to demonstrate humility and down-to-earthness.

I once saw this vividly when a billionaire host was manning the barbecue and later rose from the table to help with dishes. The message was unmistakable: true dignity is staying grounded, regardless of means.

TRAVEL: A PRIVILEGE TO FRAME

Travel is another area where framing makes a big difference. Lavish trips can easily feel like a default lifestyle. However, with the right approach, they can become powerful lessons.

Some families frame each trip with a clear purpose—emphasizing discovery as much as comfort, or weaving in volunteerism and learning experiences along the way. They may balance luxury travel with more modest road trips, visiting London and Paris one year, and Ottawa or Washington the next. The aim is to help children see travel as both a privilege and an opportunity to grow, rather than a default lifestyle or indulgence.

WEALTH AS CIRCUMSTANCE, NOT IDENTITY

The way parents use time, frame travel and demonstrate humility sends an interconnected signal: wealth is a circumstance, not an identity. It may change opportunities, but it is never a measure of worth. Families often remind their children that money cannot replace essential qualities.

• Character: integrity, responsibility and values. Wealth may provide comfort, but trust, credibility and a moral compass come from lived choices and behaviour.
• Resilience: the ability to adapt and recover from setbacks. Resources can soften difficulties, yet life inevitably brings challenges in careers, relationships and health.
• Humility: staying grounded and respectful. Wealth can inflate ego or create entitlement, and humility helps counterbalance that risk.

Work also plays an important role, even when financial need is not present. Families that strike a healthy balance often encourage summer jobs, internships or volunteer commitments. The point is not the paycheque, but the structure and accountability that build confidence and self-worth.

Limits matter as well. Every parent wants to say “yes,” but children need to hear “no” and experience delayed gratification. It is part of what helps them grow.

PRACTICAL WAYS FAMILIES STAY GROUNDED

Here are some practices I have seen work well.

1. Be transparent (in the right dose). Explain why you have help, that is it not because tasks are beneath you, but because time is precious.
2. Maintain high standards at home. Even with help, children are expected to contribute, and parents have to demonstrate this too.
3. Emphasize respect and gratitude. Show appreciation for staff and teach children that these roles are dignified.
4. Offer real-world exposure. Community work, modest travel or uncurated experiences provide perspective beyond privilege.
5. Narrate the invisible effort. Share stories of beginnings, risks and sacrifices, so children understand that today’s comfort is the result of effort, not the default.

Ultimately, raising well-grounded children in a wealthy environment is less about rules and more about intention, balance and values. From what I have seen, the privilege of wealth is best used to make thoughtful choices about how to spend time and energy, and to encourage the next generation to do the same, with gratitude, humility and responsibility.

 

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